Everyday Dose Of Reality
Every Sunday at our house is laundry day, I’m so lucky. First thing in the morning I warn the children, “get your clothes to your basket to be washed. If you don’t give me your basket you WILL be going to school this week naked”. Still, it takes them about an hour and a half to get it all together and out in the hall. All our baskets are on wheels. I start at one end of the school and pick up baskets as I make my way to the laundry room. This morning is just like any other Sunday. Drag the baskets to the laundry room, dump them out on the sorting table and make my color piles.
Macgyver and I have one boy mixed in a hoard of girls. The man child is eleven, and I am never surprised by what I find in his laundry basket. Critters in pockets are no big shocker either. I once washed a tree frog by accident. Poor sucker never stood a chance stuck in the pocket, he was a little bloated after the drier was done with him though. At any rate, after separating everyone’s clothing I was down to the fun basket, “the boy’s”. Nothing out of the ordinary, with the weather turned to almost winter the critter hostages are nil this time of year. However, I ran into something I have never seen before in all my years of parenting.
I understand children are rough on their clothing, but what in the hell was he doing to cause this? Whatever it was I am willing to bet, he shouldn’t have been doing it, let alone in a pair of school pants. I put a load in to the washer, all clothing separated on the sorting table, and grabbed the jeans I headed down the hall. First I had to take a picture of them because I have just never seen this before and take it from me I have seen some way scary stuff in the laundry. Was this a fart that got way out of control? Had he gotten hooked on something and just kept running ripping the ass out of his pants? So I asked what the heck happened. The story was told to me like this. “Ok, so mom you know how I am trying to learn how to climb trees really good right? So, Sean was showing me how to climb this tree and, well, I climbed up the tree behind him. Then I slipped and fell on this branch. It stabbed me in the butt and then jammed up my crack. I slipped off the branch, but, as I was falling it ripped my pants. See”? I had to ask why he even bothered to put them in the laundry and he said he didn’t know what to do with them.
Moral of the story: If your going to climb a tree be aware you may get a branch up your crack, and you may rip the seat out of your pants. I guess…hmm.