The Junk Drawer
Macgyver has used Chantix for about a week and today is the day we stop smoking. We will see how it goes. He says the Chantix takes away all desire to smoke, however he now thinks he has smoked out of boredom. Leave it to my husband to come up with a plan to combat the lack of smoking. Macgyver’s idea may not be conventional, but he is ready to put it into action. Sex. The way he figures it if he was smoking out of boredom, and sex is not boring then it’s a CURE! I am starting to think there may be some other trace of something in the Chantix. Maybe LSD *smirk.
This morning he plead his case to changing out smoking for sex, and the one thing he is clinging to is fitness. I have been losing weight, not that I am trying. Whenever I try to lose weight I can’t, I don’t try and it falls off, so I gave up trying. I am now to the point where I am considering taking in my underpants so they fit. Never thought in a million years when losing weight your underpants get to big. Not sure why it never occurred to me, it just hasn’t. At any rate, after birthing an army of children my road atlas of stretch marks on my stomach is looking freaky. Instead of wide open highways it is now more like eroded river banks. So not attractive and not even in the same realm as sexy. His theory is every time he would like to smoke because he is bored, we have sex, and in the end by spring, we should be two of the buff-est people on the planet. That is a great theory while the kids are in school, but I’m not sure he has thought this out entirely. What happens when they are home?
Side effects from taking Chantix: dry mouth, vomiting, headaches and sexual drive at an all time high similar to a eighteen year old no matter your age.