The Junk Drawer
I am married to a computer geek and I have to say after what I have witnessed over the past three days, the man has the nerve to call me whacko? He doesn’t like the name “geek”, let me put it this way… he has a mistress and her name is HP, I call her other names not so nice. Macgyver laid down his drill and bits for the weekend and took to his chair. Not resembling Al Bundy in the least, this is an office chair. I’m not saying he couldn’t pull off a comfortable recline in said chair. Have you ever tried that or maybe stretched and leaned back a bit too far? I have and ended up on the floor screaming during the flight down.
At any rate Macgyver has spent the weekend with HP canoodling. I have heard him talking more to himself over the last three days than he talks to people all week. Now I’m not saying he is whispering sweet nothings, it’s more of a colorful array of every word a sailor might use and some new zingers. My main point being I am worried due to the fact he is not making simple statements to HP. It is more of a full-fledged conversation and he even answers his own questions, out loud. He has done this before, well, almost every time I ask him to take a look at my pc.
Me the innocent wife: “uh honey my computer is doing something funky”.
Macgyver: “What do you mean something funky”?
Me the IW: “Well, it sort of reminds me of a strobe light”.
Macgyver: “Do What”!
Me the IW: “Make the blinking stop, I’m going blind”. (falls backward over in office chair)
Macgyver: “What did you do”?
Macgyver: “I don’t know what it is you do. Why do you go near computers haven’t you learned you can’t go near them”?
Macgyver: “Why would you do that? Stop touching stuff. What did you touch”?
Macgyver: “Just leave the office. You have to leave the office before the damn thing blows up. (hushed tones: What did she do now?)”.
Several hours later I am ushered back into my office where the introductions take place. I tell my computer I mean no harm I just want to use it for a while and I promise to keep you clean and de-fuzzed. I sit down in my chair, lay my eager fingers on the cool plastic keys. Blue screen of death appears.
Macgyver: “WHAT DID YOU YOU?!”
Macgyver: “It was working fine, people messing with stuff they shouldn’t”.
Me the IW: “But I didn’t do anything, come on you saw me, I touched it with a finger”.
Macgyver: “User error. It’s never anyone’s fault. Back to the living room but this is the last time I am fixing this thing today”.
And then I am forced to do the only thing left to do as I exit my office. Stick my tongue out at my computer and threaten to run it over with our truck.
Macgyver: “Oh sure like that will help. (points finger with arm outstretched) LIVING ROOM”!