Everyday Dose Of Reality
The 5 yr. old aka Tinkerbell: “Mom I’m hungry”.
Me: “Oh please go back to bed you don’t have school today”.
Tink: “Do I have school tomorrow”?
Me: “No, tomorrow is Saturday then we have Sunday and then Monday you go to school”.
Tink: “But I want to go to school today, tomorrow and Sunday. Did I mention I am hungry”?
Me: “yes you did. I’ll cook you breakfast”.
Tink: ”Mom why are you up? Is breakfast done yet”?
Me: “I woke up at 3:30 again and no I just cracked the egg give me a few minutes please”.
Tink: “Mom I am starving to death. Can I have breakfast”?
Me: “uh you had breakfast already. In fact it was an hour ago, remember you had toast and an egg”?
Tink: “Yeah but I am hungry now. Don’t you care if I die from starvation”? Insert dramatic coughing and gasping
Me: “Uh-huh, dying huh. How about some cereal oh great weak one”?
Tink: “Thank You and can I have it in a bucket please? I like your green bucket it reminds me of fun”.
Me: “Um no sorry. A bucket of cereal and a 5 year old does NOT remind me of fun. Brings to mind the need to find my mop”.
Tink: “Mom are you going to feed us today”?
Me: “I did…twice you have had breakfast. You’re done until lunch”.
8:30, 8:32, 34,35,36,39, 8:46, 47 & 8:53 am
Tink: “Mom. I am really starving. I have to eat something, maybe Nina. I can dip her in peanut butter and chew on her”.
Me: “Try it I dare you. Your sister will bite you back. I said you’re done until lunch”.
Tink: “Can I have noodles for lunch”?
Me:”Oh please don’t start bugging me about what is for lunch now”.
Tink: “well, can I have noodles for lunch? For dinner tomorrow night? Can I have noodles when I am 15 years old. Is it ok if I have noodles at my wedding dinner”?
Me: “Noodles for your wedding dinner? We are jumping the gun a bit aren’t we”?
Tink: “I will feed my kids noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even their wedding dinners. If I had a time gun I would jump to the future and be having noodles for lunch right now. So can I please have noodles I am starving”.
Me: popping the top on the Tylenol bottle and chugging a few.