Everyday Dose Of Reality
Parenting is a thing that can give and give. You’re just really never sure what you are going to get. Yesterday the family and I were forced to head to Duluth where an actual Harbor Freight store is, we are not talking just a magazine anymore people. Duluth is the New York city of northern Minnesota, so I put on my best thermal flannel coat I’ll have you know. I’m working on the girl thing, remember baby steps. First, I say forced because Macgyver wanted a little family time. Nothing says family time like a team of kids locked in a suburban poking, hitting, shoving and singing (out of tune have mercy) rolling down the road at 70 miles per hour for about 3 hours, one way. Might I remind you at this point how sick Isabelle and I have been for the last two days. Explosively sick, and I am sort of impressed with Macgyver for wanting to take us with him. It might have been easier to take a nuclear warhead on a roller skate through the badlands, but kudos he did it. Second, Harbor Freight to Macgyver is much like chocolate to a pms-ing woman. Once you have it in your sights nobody is really safe. Turns out I was drawn to this log splitter, solar garden lights, tools, tools and tools galore, gloves, farm items…DROOL.
I have come to a conclusion, remember when I turned 40 this past summer and I thought some big epiphany, light bulb moment and or Oprah’s “AH HA!” moment would take place? Do you remember how confused and a tad disappointed I was when nothing changed but my underwear that day? Well after a few months to ponder the meaning of life and all, I had my “AH HAAAAAAAAA!” moment, just like good ole Oprah said I would. I was standing in isle 7 at Harbor Freight and it hit me. 98% of what is in Harbor Freight will make my life so much easier! I will stop and smell the roses while weeding them, now made possible by this lovely tool and gloves from Harbor Freight. The grass will be greener on the other side of the fence! They have this spreader I can attach to the 4 wheeler and spread seed in the Alpaca pasture this spring! The list of treasures and pleasures all this new found free time can bring us goes on. As did my mental list of inventory I want from that store as the kids drug me to the bathroom. If you are a parent than you are fully aware every child is a bathroom connoisseur. Since I have more children than the average bear here, I have connoisseurs looking for details. We have the child who looks for easy access, how it is decorated, smell as well as overall cleanliness, but my favorite is the child who is more concerned about the acoustics of the bathroom. Yes folks we have a singing diva and once Beyonce gets started, rest assured the back-up singers chime in.
Macgyver bought the item we had come for in record time, now highly impressed with him. All loaded back in the truck and sitting at a traffic light before getting out of town, I made my detailed mental list I would come back and attack with. Macgyver sat in the driver’s seat with a smile on his face, I know the man was secretly working on his own list. All bundled up in fluffy winter coats we almost filled the front of the truck. Happy, fluffy and warm Staying Alive came thumping out of the radio. Looking more like gophers from the Caddyshack movie than two adults, we sat cabbage-patching at the light. Then all of a sudden Macgyver and I had a “couples AH HAAAA” moment. Moans of complete embarrassment came from the back of the truck in the form of 2 pre-teens. AH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Payback time. For all the I don’t wanna’s, no I didn’t eat the cookie (being said with a face COVERED in crumbs), leaving live creatures in your pockets and still sending the clothing to the laundry room, crying about meanie parents that won’t let their children swim in the dead of winter at 50 below, how we cruelly crush your dreams of being the next batman and NOT allowing you to jump off the roof to fly, the bacon grease in the hair and yes, even the now 15th frog let loose in the house. Light bulb moment, commence Operation Pre-teen embarrassment. Let’s not forget to add in sequel 1 through 6 just to get them through the high school years.
Oh yeah, cabbage patch, “Ah ha ha ha ha stayin alive”!