Yes, I know the title is strange, the anatomy of a fart, but I live with a bunch of children. What, you expected a review of the latest issue of Newsweek? After my weekend long mathematics test with Macgyver, which I failed miserably I might add, I ran to the kitchen for solace. The new heating system, specs, mathematics, schematics, and decisions are not my job. Now, if you want to talk chocolate, baked goods or turkey, I’m your gal! I hid out in the kitchen baking a golden brown, garlic, rosemary and thyme turkey. Yeah drool! The smell wafted through the house, instantly making our stomachs grumble. Well except Macgyver who sat at the table with his pad of paper talking to himself.
I know there is that chemical in turkey which makes you tired after eating it and boy I was whipped. The kids and I turned on a movie and completely took over one entire couch. Nina aka Minnie Mouse was snuggled up to me under the blankets. While everyone silently watched Mars needs more Moms, the 3 year old started explaining the anatomy of a fart to me. Her theory is farts are just happy bubbles. They live in your stomach because that is a safe place for them. Boy is she ever right! There is nothing safe or happy about a fart one of the dogs lets rip. OK, so why are farts happy? Well she says the air trapped in a fart, are just unused giggles and that is why the farts are happy bubble. All of that rolling and bouncing around it does in your stomach is because it is happy trapped giggles. I didn’t have the heart to tell her some gas is almost demonic paralyzing pain until it escapes from one end or the other.
Did you also know that farts are flat once they come out? Neither did I don’t feel bad. The child went on to tell me a loose fart had to be flat. Really are you ready for the reasoning behind this HA HA HA. Here we go then…when the fart comes out your body pushes all the air to one part of the bubble and the pressure pops the bubble on the way out of your body. After listening to her I just had to ask the obvious question. If farts are just happy bubbles why are they so mean, and angry once they are free from our body and smell so bad?
And just like the famous songs states, as did our 3 year old…The answers are blowing in the wind.