Everyday dose of Reality
For me Zumba and Gorillas in the Mist is basically the very same thing. Today after messing with the Xbox for about an hour to get the thing calibrated correctly, which did involve Macgyver, I popped in the Zumba disc. Let me tell you that was a mistake. Scrolling over to beginner salsa, I was hyped and ready to go. Had all my junk packed into my workout clothes, the body parts that could escape and hurt someone were duct taped down, and my heavy long hair was in a high ponytail.
First let me explain beginner salsa is a very misleading title. What it should have said was, “beginner salsa 10-15 years of experience required”. The glowing orange silhouette of an instructor bounced and shimmied to life. Orthos stood next to me, when I was not trampling the poor dog, barking at the neon lady. I bounced to life. OK, I re-enacted a scene straight out of the movie Gorillas in the Mist. I have to bounce, stomp and trip my way through until I learn these steps. The way I figured it was this, if you don’t know the steps just keep all your junk shaking in all different directions. In the end groove and shake to the music and you will get the same result and the routine.
Once the sweat starts pouring… I know my grandma used to say “perspire” and other ladies used to say “glowing” not sweating. I’ll just put it this way…I was doing all three. I glowed like the sun, perspired like nobody’s business and sweated to the point my ponytail stuck to my forehead like some freaky female Rambo or yeti. None of that stopped me though! The kids cheered me on. Our man-child issued his 2 cents from the kitchen island, instructing me to move right and left and throw my hands in the air, now clap. I don’t know what he was watching, must have been a video by LMFAO. He even shouted, “hey MOM, you’re sexy and you know it”. I’m going to pass out and I know it, call 911!
An hour later and dripping wet, who knew your butt cheeks could sweat, I headed for the shower to cool off. Session 1 of Zumba complete. Everyone had fun, I saw my life pass before my eyes a few time and now I know where I put that lost pair of scissors, and nobody got hurt. Well, other than Orthos, who may or may not have a broken right front paw after all the trampling I did on it bouncing away. Tomorrow I will wake up and do it all over again. Scene 2 from Gorilla’s in the Mist.