Adventures of Orthos
I swear there IS an alien in the pantry! Mom and her family went away for two days. Can you imagine two whole days without your mom? I almost died. No really. And, I cried like a big old baby the whole time. In fact, I cried so much, I never ate or drank anything. I laid at the front door in the throws of a tantrum and crying fit. I know I looked like the dog version of that one lady mom watch’s, Scarlet O’Hara. Finally, she came home. Just in time too, because one more moment and I would have died. Really!
That night I sensed something. My nose picked up a scent. My ears twitched. I followed my nose to the pantry door. There was something in there. Next thing I know, people are going in and out of the pantry and NOT letting me in. What is wrong with these people?! Danger lurks everywhere! How can I protect them if they won’t let me go with them. Sure I could have opened the door, and when I touched the door to open it, they told me NO. Well, that night strange noises were coming from the pantry and I guarded it all night. Early in the morning I heard scratching at the door. I ran to get mom, do you know she snores sometimes? No luck with mom or dad, so, I ran to wake up the smallest person in the house. Her name is Nina but we all call her Minnie. I told Buck there was something amiss with the pantry and he rushed into Minnie’s room and licked her awake. I will admit Buck has few uses but he is the world’s best licker. Minnie started coming to and I howled, yipped and barked at her. She sat up in bed and her hair was standing up all over.
I ran to the kitchen, passing the pantry there was yowling and scratching. Do you know how hard it is for me to open a kitchen drawer? I knew what I needed and what I had to do. In the…one, two, yeah, second drawer next to the stove is aluminum foil. I once saw on a movie with mom that an aluminum foil hat would keep aliens from sucking your brain out. I NEED A HAT!!! They had already gotten to Minnie, I could tell by her hair. And, and, there was an alien trapped in the pantry! Nobody seemed to care once they were all up. Can you believe these people? Went about their day like everything was normal, and kept going into the pantry. I just want it noted if they get their brains sucked out, it is not my fault.
Yesterday mom and dad took me into the pantry. I never did get my foil hat! Mom called me in the room and shut the door. There was hissing, and screeching and then I saw this fur ball. I tried to get a good look at the thing but all my brain kept yelling was, “don’t look into it’s eyes”! It was small and mad as a hatter. I sniffed it and tried to lick it and it STUNG ME! On the nose, twice. After a little while I laid down and gave it the Orthos stare, with my eyes squinted so it couldn’t suck my brain out. The hair on it’s back laid down and it stopped hissing at me. I don’t know what it is, but mom took some pictures. I have made contact and as far as I am concerned I have concrete proof aliens have landed. By the way, mom & dad call it LuLu. So, if you see a LuLu contact your local alien retrieval team.