Adventures of Orthos
All these dang kids in this house and not one of them helped hide us from Mom and Dad. I think that Buck and I are pretty good boys. Well, I am much better than Buck is and that is a given, but overall we are pretty darn good. This morning we woke mom up to take us outside. Buck was doing his cross leg hop thing trying to hold it in. Always a sure sign someone needs to be moved to the door to let us out. Sure, I can open the doors to let us out but then I would get into trouble. Although, the other day when mom got locked out she was thrilled I opened the doors from the inside to let her in.
Any way, we woke mom up at around 5:10 in the morning. I know what time it was because she kept saying, “Boys! It is 5:10 in the morning couldn’t you have just waited for the alarm at 5:30”? We pushed her to the door and out we went. At this point, I should tell you us boys, are very protective of our yard. In the darkness we saw something moving and it wasn’t a bear or my girlfriend the wolf from across the street. It was this black furry thing with a white racing stripe down it’s back. Racing stripes means race doesn’t it? So we chased it down in the front yard. I sniffed it and the thing hissed at me and flipped it’s tail up. Buck took that as an invitation. I have told you before he is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He is more like the rusted old rake out in the tall weeds way behind the shed, if we had a shed. Buck waggled his tail and gave it a good ole fashioned dog’s welcome. That boy buried his head and sniffer so far up it’s behind, I swear he was counting it’s ribs. Then there was this nasty mist in the air from it’s behind. I have heard the kids talk about fire and this burned so I did what the kids have always said. I dropped and rolled and rolled. Buck started sneezing and mom was yelling for us to come back.
She put us in the back foyer at 5:16 in the morning, thanks to BUCK! I didn’t smell that bad but he was making me gag. We had to sit in there until the sun finally came up. Next dad came to get us one by one at 7 in the morning. I was first. To the front yard I went where mom was waiting with plastic bags on her hands. Do you know what she uses those bags for? She puts food in them and puts it in the freezer. I thought the woman was going to bag me & freeze me! I was close. They pulled out the hose and that water was ffffffreezing cold. They washed us, used some recipe mom found and dried us. We smell normal now but it was humiliating. Beat by a skunk, washed in the front yard, like common dogs I tell ya. All of it is Buck’s fault I’ll have you know. I am a pupcicle because brainless Buck wanted to meet the new neighbor. *skunk belch – I should introduce him to my girlfriend she is always up for a tasty snack!