Adventures of Orthos
The other day my mom and dad had some friends over for a cookout, that is what they called it anyway. Dad wheeled this big silver thing from the back patio to the front yard, because it is closer to the kitchen. I love the kitchen, all the yummy stuff is kept there like all my Orthos treats.
This is the big silver thing dad drug to the front yard. It has a HUGE mouth on it! Also, the thing crackles and sizzles, but doesn’t smell too bad. OK so I was drooling. Here’s the thing though … dad opened its mouth and there was this meat inside of it. I ran around the yard looking for Buck. The way I figure it is the meat had to come from somewhere, right? After I found Buck, I counted all the kids and none were missing. All the ducks were accounted for as well as mom. If you notice, this thing has legs and wheels. I’m guessing that big silver sucker can move pretty darn fast if it was hungry. It is still in the front yard and near the door my parents take me outside to do my business. They open the door and I stop to eyeball its closed mouth, it appears to be sleeping. I just know that when it wakes back up, it’s going to be super hungry. Granted I am a fierce, big but oh so handsome puppy boy, I am not about to be its next snack. So, I creep around it. Sniff the ground a few feet away, and nothing. It just sits there. That’s right, the thing is messing with my mind with its evil games.
This morning my dad took me out the front door and there was the silver thing, just standing there. I should also tell you that about four feet away from it is our dog kennel. Yeah, we have one of those fenced things too, thanks to BUCK!!! All brawn and not a single pea sized spec of a brain I tell you. So, out the door I went and backed myself up to the kennel, more to brace or fend off the silver thing should it attack. I slinked along the fencing, sniffing the ground near its legs. Had my butt up in the air and nose to the ground and then dad jumped to scare me. I about jumped out of my fur coat! Now I should tell you that since I am such a very handsome puppy boy, I am also very attached to my fur coat. I almost knocked the entire kennel over and I took off across the yard, I just knew the silver thing was trying to eat me. So if you drive by my house and see the silver thing smoking and my tail hanging out the side, please stop and help me cause my fur will singe right off. You wouldn’t want me walking around smelling like BBQ sauce with singed hair would you?