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Archive for the ‘Wisdom From The Crazy Lady’ Category


Wisdom from the crazy Lady

There ought to be people you can hire to teach little girls how to use make up. I myself am not a woman into make up, and my daughters are, which leaves me scratching my head at times.  They tend to practice on each other to get the hang of the application process.  However, the ten year old is the one practicing the most.  Our three year old could be an Olympic runner.  Nina is currently running from Isabelle yelling, “NO MAKE OVER, NO, GRAB AMETHYST OR THE DOG”!  She is a smart little girl.  Nina knows Isabelle applies make up the same way she would paint a barn. Run Nina!

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Wisdom from the crazy Lady

I am a hopeless romantic.  This means, I will love you until my dying day.  If you keep pushing my buttons,  you might wish your were dying.

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Wisdom from the crazy Lady

 

Yep, skiing is a hill/mountains way of making human snowballs to throw at the others waiting at the bottom.

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Wisdom from the crazy Lady

I grew up in the day and age of I dream of Genie.  If there is a genie in a bottle I will find it, and I have been through hundreds of bottles of wine.  Begrudgingly I will continue my search, and I just know I will find that genie in a beautiful bottle of Merlot. * hiccup* Must press on 🙂

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Wisdom from the crazy lady

 

What is the only difference between going on a lion hunt and raising children?  When hunting lions you get a tranquilizer gun, pansys!

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Wisdom from the crazy Lady

Bullfrog songs in the middle of the night is what is ahead for me.  This is yet another one of those moments in parenting, you think to yourself, “what does the child mean it is loose?  Did he just say, it escaped from the tank”?  Our son invited a friend to stay the winter with us, a baby bullfrog named Tom.  Said frog was brought to my attention long after hibernation time for frogs.  Deep in the night Tom chirps and sings.  Basically keeping Macgyver and I awake, although I will say Tom has a nice set of chirping pipes.  As of today Tom is MIA.  He has jumped ship, escaped, running a muck in the house.  What is worse is all of the kids walked around the house calling his name.  It was very hard for me not to walk behind them saying,”Help me.  I am over here”.

Please call 1-800-MIA-FROG if you see Tom

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Wisdom From The Crazy Lady

The fortune cookie has been surpassed by the napkin and wise words to live by.

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Wisdom From The Crazy Lady

 

Santa left me a note this morning.  More of a warning if you will.  He stated I am his entire naughty list and he will be handing out spankings this year.  Oddly the writing looks suspiciously like my husbands 🙂  Happy Holidays Everyone!

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Wisdom From The Crazy Lady

 

First, buy the turkey and a bottle of whiskey.  Pour yourself a glass of whiskey and put the turkey in the oven.  Take another 2 drinks of whiskey, and set the degree at 375 ovens.  Have 3 more whiskeys of drink and turn the oven on.  Take 4 whisks of drinky and turk the bastey.  Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of whiskey.  Bake the whiskey for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick.  Pour yourself another glass of turkey.  Now just tete the sable, and turk the carvey.

Thanks to Ms. Linda

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Wisdom From The Crazy Lady

 

Listen to me carefully because I am about to utter one of THE best things in the world…white fudge covered Oreos.  There I said it, now just let it sink in and wash over you.

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